Call me different. Unlike the others who trampled each other to dash to the parking lot and start their summer in the sun after the last bell, (screaming clichés such as “Smirnoff”, “laying out”, or “flip-flops.”) I took a different path. I perused around the lonely hallways, nearly slipping on piles of discarded notes and graded assignments that littered the corridors. In the distance I could hear all the last laughs of triumph as I thought these are some of the last laughs that this building will hear for months (Unless you’re a summer school kid whom I follow by a bahahahaha. But then again there isn’t much laughter or glory in summer school.) I walked to every distance and viewed the settings of some memorable moments. The numerous spots where we used hide during lunch and kiss. The bathroom where I hid a bag of grass and the janitor confiscated it. My place during lunch where I either crammed for homework last minute or ate lukewarm food while shooting the shit with my best friends. The office where I was numerously called down for an assortment of lackluster reasons. The auditorium where I got so nervous during my monologue I vomited afterwards. The old paper room where I used to write, slack off, and dream. The old English room where I delivered a persuasive speech that blew the class away and got me an A. You get the picture. Seeing 90% of the people I’ve grown up with for the last time is a feeling that can only be described as bittersweet. Sure, my attitude walking down the hallway seeing each person goes a bit like this “Fuck you. You’re cool. You’re a douche bag. Fuck you. We used to hang out in 4th grade. Fuck you. You’re cool. Fuck you.” So much shit has really changed with people all these years. Daily, I see people that I once used to tell everything, but now it’s like when we both walking opposite directions in the hall and we see each other, we both look away or disinterested to avoid confrontation. I can’t even muster up a pathetic “hey.” But at the same time it just is perplexing seeing all these insignificant people in your insignificant high school experience for one final hurrah. It’s fucked up, but I almost now know how mothers feel when they watch their seed develop into a full grown up, and are ready to go off and to pave their own path. I really don’t regret too much about high school, except for the fact I took it too seriously. I’m not talking about grade wise (although I did seemingly above average and could have done waaaay better, but had far too much fun and learned more fucking around as opposed to cramming math formulas). I’m talking more about the way I thought. What people thought, getting anxious, having problems with people, etc. I just wish I didn’t view it all as the end of my life as opposed to the truth, which is it all was basically a merger of middle school on creatine. Or branching out more and doing more stuff. It seems to me as if this place begins to start personalizing your own little pod of comfort. What you want to do for a career, hobbies, who you spend your time with strictly. I finally came to and stopped living in my head, in which I made my way out to the parking lot. Coming to the last door I would ever come to again, I raised my leg, and kicked that mother fucker as hard as I could and vowed never to turn or look back. Will I miss the so called “best times of my life?” Man I don’t even know. Only the final bell truly knows.
dude, i really like this. kind of depressing.
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